Codependency is about fear.

If I don’t have a say in this…I won’t be happy.

I NEED him to stop being that way.

If they could just maintain x we’d all be better off.

Have you ever bought into this theory? Is it distressing? You may be experiencing the plague of codependency

Melody Beattie discusses alcoholism and the codependent spouse frequently in her famous novel, Codependent No More. And I encourage all of my clients to read the book. I cannot express how many individuals come to see me, attempting to get their partner or spouse to do or be something. And they haven’t succeeded thus far - and so here we are, in our session - I have the task of convincing the partner.

The truth is, the real work lies in the complaining partners hands many times. Not because they are wrong, but because their strategy is not effective.

Codependency recovery is about letting go of control and living for yourself. A great deal of fear comes alongside this reality, though, and it holds a fair share of us back from making necessary shifts in both our perspective and action.

Many of us have committed so deeply to not only a person, but also an idea of what our life should look like, and what our partner should do, look like, and function as, that we leave little room for the unique aspects that make us who we are.

Codependency recovery comes with the goal of finding freedom, releasing fear, and loving oneself.