Foreplay
We have this inherent belief that sexual contact starts and arousal goes in this steady rise to the top and then poof we orgasm and we have felt this immense pleasure. But truly there are many other pathways we may take in this arena.
One is that we have trouble getting turned on, or that it takes more than 10 minutes of oral to become aroused.
Another is that we get turned on, but then our arousal seemingly disappears because we get into our heads.
Another is that our orgasm comes out of nowhere and it’s mediocre, or that we have a great one but can’t replicate that or have an even better one the second time.
Sex can go a myriad of different ways.
But one thing is true - we must stop trying to fix sex into a box, and instead understand the ways that men and women work.
If we want to come (pun intended) TOGETHER on this, we must understand the distinct ways our bodies work and stop trying to fit sex and intimacy into a mold.
That said, women often need up to 40 minutes of foreplay. This includes rubbing all over her vulva, clitoris, using varying pressures, using the same speed and pressure when she is starting to get close to climax. Fingering in a way that feels good to her, using enough lube, starting out touching, kissing, licking other areas of her body before moving directly to her genital area.